My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
