found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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