I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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