You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
