So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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