is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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