wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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