hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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