Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize