wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
