I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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