I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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