i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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