i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
