Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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