I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
These tits shall not be calmed
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
