Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
