she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
