you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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