i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize