I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
