If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
