Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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