Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
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