ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
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So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
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Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.