I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks