I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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