whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
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