well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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