after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize