Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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