Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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