i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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