how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
