Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
