You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
