Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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