we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
