This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
