just tell him i said nine months
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
