i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
