So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
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I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
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This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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