it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
