And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
