I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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