Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
