sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
