somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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