Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
