So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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