The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
