walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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