I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
people are starting to question the shark bite story
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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