WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Randomize