If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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