I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
