and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
