If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
