you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
