all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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