he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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