Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
