I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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